This past week as you may have seen from my instagram photos and tweets, I went to the National Worship Leaders Conference. I received so much valuable information and was able to just worship without having to worry about the videos not working, the mics squealing or forgetting the lyrics. It was so refreshing for me and I’m back and ready to hit the ground running!

 One of the most impactful times for me this last week was during a night of worship as One Sonic Society was leading us. The lead singer began to talk about his bout with anxiety and fear.

Attempting to be more transparent I will tell you that I struggle with anxiety, I always have. Ever since I can remember I have been somewhat high strung and anxious especially when faced with certain situations, for example going through a restaurant drive through. I know its silly but its just how I’m wired. The anxiety peaked about 3 years ago when I started my new job as a Worship Pastor. I’m not sure why exactly, maybe the increased responsibility as well as the responsibility to myself to continue growing and becoming a better leader.

So anyways, back to the story…

As I listened to this worship leader talk about his battle with anxiety and fear, his words penetrated my heart. He said that the word fear also means “awe” or in awe. The word awe is something we usually reserve for God right? “We stand in awe” shows up in many worship songs. Another word for awe is “worship”. That’s when it really hit home. Fear = awe= worship. They way that I interpreted that is you worship what you fear. That’s scary for me. The only fear we should have as Christians is the fear of God. When we fear something or worry about something we give that thing time and attention that it doesn’t deserver.

Take this for what its worth to you. To me it makes me aware of the things I fear or have anxiety about. When those things cross my path I make a conscious effort to lay it down and say “The only fear I have is the fear of God”. Sometimes it helps, and sometimes it doesn’t but either way I am working towards a life free from anxiety and fear.